Unc’s Rant: Hooters Packed Up The Boats, Left Us To Paddle

Listen here, I don’t care what the Bengals depth chart looks like right now, the biggest hit this fanbase took in 2025 wasn’t Ja’Marr’s drops in camp, it was Hooters ghosting the Ohio River.

That floating temple of wings and chaos sat on Riverboat Row for decades, fueling up fans before every kickoff. You knew the routine: grab a plate of Daytona-style, chase it with a schooner, talk yourself into the Bengals covering -3, then stumble right onto a Queen City Riverboat and ride across the water like a damn Roman emperor. Life was good.

Now? Poof. Gone. Yanked off the river like an old dock chair. Dismantled in Hebron. Another victim of corporate bankruptcy and whatever clown show is running Hooters into the ground. They didn’t just close restaurants, they nuked traditions.

Let’s talk fallout. Queen City Riverboats didn’t just lose a partner, they lost their whole game day economy. No Hooters paying the tab means no money to run three shuttles. So instead of a fleet, we’ve got one sad boat per Bengals game. Reds fans? Forget it. They shut that ferry down completely. Want to cross the river? Hope you’re a good swimmer, champ.

And prices? Fifteen bucks a head. Used to be ten. Inflation hits harder when your last wing stop before kickoff is now Applebee’s. You can’t tell me Newport wouldn’t rather see packed boats than empty docks, but nope, bankruptcy court’s got the land tied up like it’s Fort Knox.

Fans don’t care about “sub-leasing opportunities” or “municipal red tape.” We care about getting sauced, eating wings, and showing up at Paycor loud enough to rattle helmets.

So yeah, Bengals Nation lost more than a floating restaurant. We lost an artery to the game. We lost the buzz of hundreds of fans storming off a boat and into the jungle. And worst of all, we lost the last real excuse to eat Hooters wings without shame.

Pour one out, Cincy. Hooters is gone. The boats are cut. And if the Bengals don’t win 12 games this year, we might just burn that Purple People Bridge ourselves.

– Broadway UNC