🎙️ Unc’s Rants
UNC RANTS: Coaches Who Left Steak for a Shit Sandwich
Some coaches can’t help themselves — they’ve got a good thing going, but the second a “bigger” job waves a check in their face, they’re gone. Problem is, that greener grass usually turns out to be spray-painted turf over a septic tank. From Scott Frost drowning in Busch Lights to Jimbo Fisher cashing $77 million to go .500, these are the all-time legends of leaving steak for a shit sandwich.
Sometimes you’ve got a good thing going, a loyal fanbase, steady wins, maybe even a statue in the works, and then a “bigger” job comes along waving a fatter paycheck and the promise of greener grass. Problem is, half these coaches jumped the fence only to find out the grass was spray-painted turf hiding a septic tank.
We dug through the Reddit peanut gallery and here’s the consensus Pasture Jumpers Hall of Shame, the all-time “grass wasn’t greener” moves in coaching history.
1. Rich Rodriguez – WVU → Michigan
Left a national title contender in Morgantown to bring the spread to Big Blue, where the boosters wanted three yards, a cloud of dust, and no funny business. The only thing Rich Rod spread was L’s across the schedule.
2. Scott Frost – UCF → Nebraska
Came home as the prodigal son, left as the guy who couldn’t win close games and allegedly treated the training table like a taproom.
“The grass could’ve been greener, but he pissed it away on booze.” – Reddit
3. Jimbo Fisher – FSU → Texas A&M
Escaped a rotting FSU O-line and locker room culture for $77 million in Aggieland. Turned it into the most expensive 8-win operation in history.
“A lifeline made out of $77 million.” – Reddit
4. Bret Bielema – Wisconsin → Arkansas
From steamrolling the Big Ten West to running face-first into SEC speed. “Ground and pound” turned into “ground and found in the loss column.”
5. Gary Andersen – Wisconsin → Oregon State
Left Madison for a fixer-upper in Corvallis and decided halfway through the remodel to just quit. No, really.
6. Mike Riley – Oregon State → Nebraska
Nebraska thought they were getting West Coast offense magic. Turns out it was just a magic trick where the wins disappeared.
7. Randy Edsall – UConn → Maryland
From Fiesta Bowl to “Are you still coaching?” in record time.
8. Dan Hawkins – Boise State → Colorado
Went from blue turf parades to Big 12 beatdowns. The only green grass he saw was the lawn outside Folsom Field.
“Hawkins is my sleep paralysis demon.” – Reddit
9. Mike Price – Washington State → Alabama
Accepted the job, hit the strip club, got fired before signing the contract. Only thing he coached was his own exit.
10. Lane Kiffin – Tennessee → USC
Bolted Knoxville in the middle of the night for the hottest seat in college football. Years later, USC dropped him on a tarmac like an unwanted recruit.
11. Willie Taggart – Oregon → FSU
One year in Eugene, cashed out in Tallahassee, and was gone before they finished his nameplate.
12. Mel Tucker – Colorado → Michigan State
Parlayed one senior-heavy good season into a $95M contract, then nuked it all for non-football reasons.
“Colorado’s happier he bolted. It led to Deion.” – Reddit
13. Luke Fickell – Cincinnati → Wisconsin
Could’ve been Big 12 royalty at Cincy. Instead, decided to ditch “Dairy Ball” for the Air Raid in a state that produces linemen, not track stars.
14. Tom O’Brien – Boston College → NC State
Solid at BC, instantly meh at NC State. Quit recruiting near the end like the job came with early retirement.
15. Dennis Franchione – Alabama → Texas A&M
Left Bama before the NCAA hammer dropped, landed in College Station, and left them exactly as he found them, irrelevant.
16. Tom Herman – Houston → Texas
Had Houston cooking, but traded it in for burnt orange politics and booster drama.
17. Charlie Strong – Louisville → Texas
From Big East powerhouse to the coach who got to personally prove “Texas is back” was a lie.
18. Mario Cristobal – Oregon → Miami (TBD)
Could still work out, but so far, “The U” looks more like “The Mid.”
19. Bryan Harsin – Boise State → Auburn
No amount of SEC money was gonna make him fit in. The boosters had his Wikipedia page changed to “former Auburn coach” before the ink dried.
20. Dan Mullen – Mississippi State → Florida
Could’ve been a Starkville lifer. Left for Gainesville, had a hot start, then stopped recruiting like it was optional.
21. Ty Willingham – Stanford → Notre Dame
Started 8-0 at ND, then the wheels came off and so did his career.
22. Steve Spurrier – Florida → NFL
From dominating the SEC to getting worked in Washington by defensive coordinators who didn’t care about “Fun ‘n’ Gun.”
23. Nick Saban – LSU → NFL
Yes, he came back and became the GOAT, but his Miami stint proved you can’t recruit five-stars into a salary cap.
24. Bobby Petrino – Arkansas → “The Motorcycle Incident”
No greener grass here, just asphalt burn and a neck brace.
25. June Jones – Hawaii → SMU
Fans loved him in Honolulu, but even Reddit agrees Hawaii’s admin didn’t give him the soap or facilities he needed.
UNC TAKEAWAY:
The grass might look greener, but nine times out of ten it’s artificial turf hiding a busted septic tank. And if you think you’re the exception, congratulations, you’re already on the next version of this list.