The Sick Joy of Liking Your Enemy (With Receipts)

Rivalries are supposed to be simple: your colors good, their colors trash. Then a thread on r/CFB asked the forbidden question “Who are y’all’s favorite rival players?” and the confessions started pouring in. Fans across the map admitted what they only whisper to themselves on third-and-long: sometimes the enemy is just too good to hate out loud.

Why this hurts so good

College football is church, therapy, and courtroom drama rolled into one loud Saturday. You’re raised to boo the laundry… right up until a rival shows up who plays so clean that your boo turns into a muttered “dammit.” As one Oregon State fan deadpanned about Marcus Mariota: “I don’t care who you are, if you hate Marcus Mariota then there’s something wrong with you.” (u/r0botdevil, r/CFB)

The archetypes of “enemy respect,” with quotes from the thread

1) The Class Act You Can’t Boo
Jalen Hurts keeps receipts and keeps it classy. Multiple fanbases admitted it outright. A Texas fan put it simply: “Jalen Hurts is an easy one.” (u/BookStannis, r/CFB)
And on DeVonta Smith’s Heisman season: “I hated how much I loved to watch him.” (u/Ok-Recording-5862, r/CFB)

2) The Villain Who Grew Up
Baker was a menace in college, then became oddly likable post-NFL scars. “Baker Mayfield was a legitimate shithead in college… NFL vet Baker Mayfield is a lot more likable.” (u/gmr548, r/CFB)
Even the OU/Texas trenches softened a hair: “Much more likable after they left OU.” (u/codars, r/CFB)

3) The Local Legend You Let Get Away
Nothing stings like a hometown miss. Tennessee fans relived the Randall Cobb saga: “He went to Alcoa nearby… we barely recruited him til the end.” (u/Ok-Recording-5862, r/CFB)
A fellow Vol added context on the late offer and position fit: “Kentucky promised him [QB] and had him starting as a true freshman.” (u/GiovanniElliston, r/CFB)

4) The “How Do You Hate That?” Superstars
Some players are artistry in cleats. From the Pacific Northwest: “Bo Nix… still walked across the field to congratulate Penix.” (u/SparkMaster360, r/CFB)
Old-school respect ran deep in Columbia, too: “You’re not from the state of South Carolina if you don’t have a soft spot for Marcus Lattimore.” (u/CentralFloridaRays, r/CFB)

5) The Pros’ Pros
Fans saluted quiet killers who made Saturdays cleaner and Sundays inevitable. “Both Von Miller and Myles Garrett are hard not to like too.” (u/gmr548, r/CFB)
And the Vols got a nod from a Gator: “+ Eric Berry for Tennessee.” (u/pinoygator, r/CFB)

6) The Mascot & Meme Division
Rivalries are culture wars with helmets. A Florida fan crystallized a decade of chaos with one artifact: “Marco Wilson of Florida.” (u/ChocolateBubbles344, r/CFB)
Reply came fast and fatal: “Fuck that shoe!” (u/_HeyBob, r/CFB)

7) The “None. Ever.” Purists
Some folks refuse to budge. A Duck laid down the law: “Every one of them is a mutt and I will never say anything nice about them.” (u/The_Unclean_Chadford, r/CFB)
And a Georgia fan echoed the creed: “Fuck ’em all.” (u/Callsign_Psycopath, r/CFB)

Honest answers from the church of petty

There’s a pattern here:

• “After they leave, maybe.” NFL laundry is rivalry bleach. A Husky on Bo Nix: “I’m not sad to see him succeed in the NFL.” (u/SparkMaster360, r/CFB)
• “I respect the handshake.” Sportsmanship still moves people. That Nix-to-Penix moment cut through helmets.
• “Blue-collar grudging respect.” From Big Ten land: “Kirk Cousins.” (u/Hail2Victors, r/CFB)
  And the sickos choir chimed in: “Mad respect to the Iowa defense… I’m a sicko for good defensive play.” (u/TiberWolf99, r/CFB)

The uncomfortable middle

Two things can be true:

• You can want a player’s Saturday to implode.
• You can respect how he carries himself Sunday through Friday.

A Washington State fan summed the duality with a time capsule: “I always liked Marques Tuiasosopo… throw for 300 and run for 200 in the same game.” (u/Zeppyfish, r/CFB)

My quick “won’t boo (out loud)” list — backed by the thread

• The Pros’ Pros: Jalen Hurts, DeVonta Smith, Eric Berry.
• The Artistic Offenders: Marcus Mariota, Reggie Bush, Rome Odunze. (“I never disliked Penix either.” (u/Zeppyfish, r/CFB))
• The Pain Merchants: Myles Garrett, Von Miller.
• The Folk Tales: Randall Cobb, Pat White. (“Dude could straight ball.” (u/redmch257, r/CFB))
• The Chaos Gods: Marco Wilson’s shoe, mascot beef, and every defense that wins 13–10 in a monsoon.

Final whistle

Rival love is the guiltiest pleasure in the sport. You don’t have to post it. You don’t have to clap when the bomb drops on your secondary. But if you’ve ever watched a rival nail a third-and-8 dime and muttered “that’s nasty,” congrats—you love college football more than you love being right.